"Wait a second, Pat. So you're telling me that I can man hug and/or trade any of my players whenever I see fit? Phenomenal! Three fist pumps for Denver! Oh yeah, I promise we'll beat the Patriots, too."

Man hugs and fist pumps dominated my life over the past two weeks.

Yesterday, I returned from a thirteen-day cross-country road trip that culminated in a college reunion (a “brounion”) two weekends ago in central New York. It was a weekend of debauchery. It was a weekend of memories. It was a weekend of man hugs and fist pumps.

Sunday October 4^th was a particularly special day. I left the alma mater by noon in order to reach my brother’s college in southern Connecticut by 4:15 PM. I had agreed to meet my brother, a senior who I fondly refer to as “Siesta,” at his house to watch the Broncos take on the Cowboys. In retrospect, I was more excited about viewing Broncos-Cowboys with my biological brother than taking part in the aforementioned “brounion.”

Confidence surged through my body as I navigated my Colorado sports wagon through the rolling hills of the New York State Thruway. The Broncos could not and would not lose. America’s Team received a generous three-points from Vegas earlier in the week. My faith in the Broncos convinced me that this line read, “Free Money.” I bet accordingly. Though the visiting Cowboys were favored, Vegas opened the line at only -2.5 to entice gamblers to bet against the Broncos. Bookmakers wanted gamblers to lose by betting against the home team. Vegas secretly believed in the Broncos. I had boisterously believed in the team since April (see past columns, please), so I gladly put my money where my mouth, head, and heart have been since the draft.

Kyle Orton’s game-winning touchdown pass to Brandon Marshall was something to behold. The intentionality of Orton’s throw remains dubious; he clearly under threw the pass. Marshall however came to Orton’s rescue by making a freakishly athletic move on the ball and snatching a possible interception away from Terrence Newman. The Beast’s athleticism remained on display as he throttled the Dallas defense by laterally cutting his way 51 yards to the endzone. The end result: victory, a triumphant McDaniels fist pump, multiple sideline man hugs, and one touching yet awkward McDaniels-Marshall man hug that disrupted the coach’s post-game news conference.

Cube sez, "McDanielzzz messed around against the 'Boyz and Patz and got a triple-double...of fist pumps and man hugs. And the Lakers beat the Supersonics."

In the immortal words of Ice Cube, “It was a good day.” The Goodyear blimp over Denver read, “Josh McDanielzzz a pimp.”

Siesta and I celebrated the comeback victory and our successful gambling ventures with…more gambling. I convinced Siesta to write his American History paper in the car, and the Mile High twosome did a Kansas City shuffle up I-95 to the Foxwoods Resort Casino.

Six Red Bulls and several hundred swear words later, Siesta and I emerged from the MGM Grand at daybreak. I went on a blackjack tear while simultaneously back-betting my way to $275 in winnings. Siesta was even more of a force to be reckoned with. He went Brandon Marshall on every dealer he faced. Case and point: we decided to head home after he won five high-roller hands ($50 minimum bet per hand) in a row.

It continued to be a good day as we exited the casino floor to cash in our chips. More victory, man hugs, and fist pumps.

Siesta had a 9 AM class on Monday, so I departed Connecticut on a caffeine binge after a brief, fitful nap. My spirits soared as I approached New York City. In an Upper East Side apartment, my buddy Berry awaited my arrival, as well as our ensuing man hug and the eventual trip downtown to watch Packers-Vikings.

The buffalo wings at The Wharf on 38^th Street were as sizzling and succulent as Brett Favre’s Monday night performance. On the other hand, the Packers’ offensive line is worse than Dealin’ Doug’s sense of style, his TV advertising campaign, and his car financing plans…combined. In fact, I would rather be Dealin’ Doug than Aaron Rodgers. At least, I would a) never have to fight for an overly jeweled ring because I would wear ten everyday and b) nobody would beat me, nobody! Wait, my previous statement is false. I went too far. I would rather be an abandoned alley cat or even a blade of grass than Dealin’ Doug. Nevertheless, Rodgers’ line owes him a Rolex (or five) this time around.

Ok, so maybe I'd rather get sacked by Jared Allen than live even one day in the life of the quaff-haired man in the clown suit. Here's to you (and your Superman cape), Dealin' Doug!

After a one-day pitt-stop in Pittsburgh, I was off to Chicago for my college roommate’s sister’s wedding. I expected to witness many post-nuptial man hugs and dance floor fist pumps. Man hugs and fine scotch was abundant, but the reception lacked fist pumps.

The trip to Chicago offered two much anticipated experiences: my first wedding and a chance to watch Sunday’s Broncos-Patriots showdown with Bears fans in JC’s new city. (No, I’m not referring to Colorado Springs or Salt Lake City).

Denver sports carried on in a dramatic fashion during the five days I was in Chicago. The Avalanche lost a shootout heartbreaker to the Blackhawks at the United Center, Rocktober commenced and prematurely terminated, and the Nuggets played the Pacers in Taipei. Most importantly, the Broncos won their biggest game since beating the Patriots in the 2005-2006 divisional playoffs. Sunday’s victory produced some of the most epic man hugs and fist pumps in NFL regular season history.

Some notes on the whirlwind events of the past week…

- Bernie the St. Bernard is officially the cat’s pajamas. The Avalanche needed a new mascot for the post-Sakic era. Howler was dated, and he (?) resembled an overgrown, harrier version of Doc Emmet Brown circa “Back to the Future 3.” So creepy. Plus, the Phoenix Coyotes, who challenge the Raiders for the title of most laughable professional sports franchise, also have a mascot named “Howler.”

Howler.

First Matt Duchene, and now Bernie. Way to go, front office! You guys are on fire right now. Now, if you could only lead a coup d’etat that unseats Commissioner Bettman and revives “home whites,” I might stop being bitter and start loving NHL hockey again. Let Bernie lead the charge…

- I have little to say about the Rockies at this point. It is too soon, and I am too fragile to comment at length on this subject. But let me emphasize this: Jim Tracy is the right manager for the Rockies. The franchise should absolutely re-sign him. That said, Tracy micro-managed the Rockies out of the playoffs.

Seth Smith and Ian Stewart deserved more playing time during the Wild Card series. The Rockies needed these two players in the starting lineup.

Jayson Werth is nearly speechless after winning Most Perverse Facial Hair of the Year.

Tracy set his lineup around lefty-righty match-ups. I understand the significance of these match-ups, but Tracy overemphasized their importance. I know infinitely less about baseball than Jim Tracy. Yet, anyone who watched the Rockies knows that Seth Smith and Ian Stewart’s bats carried the Rockies into the playoffs. The team sorely missed their offense against Philadelphia. Though Spilborghs constantly delivered when called upon during the team’s stretch run and Atkins played well against the Phillies, these two players had not received consistent playing time all season. They were cold, and not as a result of the weather.

Suffice to say, removing Smith and Stewart from the starting lineup did not actively help the Rockies. Neither did leaving Huston “The Phillies really scare me” Street in the game to face Jayson “I look like a porn star from Indianapolis and live to destroy the Rockies” Werth.

- Hopefully the Rockies will finally ditch Dinger in response to the Avalanche’s new, superior mascot, Bernie. The Rockies should adopt a mountain dwelling creature as a mascot, and name it Elbert. An elk (Elbert the Elk has a particularly nice ring to it), a black bear, a pika, or a skunk would fit in perfectly at Coors Field. The skunk would backfire if the Rockies stink, but the color scheme works. If the Rockies decline to retain Brad Hawpe, the franchise should hire Les Stroud (aka Survivorman) to inhabit the wooded area behind center field and run around the stadium on gamedays in a purple and black loincloth. Anything but Dinger, please.

Bernie is the best thing to come out of Colorado since Jessica Biel's birth.

- Matt Prater’s leg is as strong as it is inaccurate. His performance against Cleveland three weeks ago was deplorable (2 misses inside 39 yards). Watching Prater miss on Sunday during the game’s opening drive racked my nerves for the remainder of the contest. The miss was so irritating. I imagine this moment was as aggravating as the following hypothetical situation: one returns to school as an alumnus only to learn that one’s ex-girlfriend now sleeps with an impish underclassman who gels his hair. I become woozy every time Prater sets up for an extra point. The boat ride to Whore Island has to be similarly nauseating.

- The 2009 Broncos continue to mysteriously mimic the 2001 Patriots. Like Brady ’01, Orton finally demonstrated his command of the offense in Week 5. Orton went 35 of 48 for 330 yards, 2 TDs, 1 INT, and put his full range of talents on display while engineering game-tying drive late in the fourth quarter. Brady ’01 went 33 of 54 for 364 yards, 2 TDs, and orchestrated an impressive last-minute game-tying drive. The Broncos won 20-17 in OT on a 41-yard field goal, and the ’01 Patriots won 29-26 in OT on a 44-yard field goal.

Not to mention the Broncos’ defense fires on all cylinders like a well-oiled, turbocharged sports wagon engine (so ‘Rado). This is a competent and well-coached unit. McDaniels understands that defense is not about having proven stars in the front seven. Rather, a defense succeeds by loading the front seven with capable athletes, who will always be in the right place at the right time. Sometimes a defensive player who tries to overextend himself and go for the flailing, big hit (i.e. Ian Gold) can be as destructive to a defensive unit as a player who takes plays off (i.e. Gerrard Warren). Who just had a 2006 Broncos’ defense flashback? Out, out damn spot!

- Josh McDaniels flat out knows how to motivate and coach his players. He has ensured that excuses are like inflated egos; no one on his sideline has one.

- The NFL trade deadline is Tuesday at 2 PM Mountain Time. Though the Broncos look like a solid team at the moment, depth never goes too far. The Broncos’ most glaring need is on special teams, specifically at kick and punt returner. Kenny McKinley and Alphonso Smith are too raw to return kicks and punts for a playoff caliber team; limiting fumbles and securing favorable field position are paramount to the Broncos’ success. Additionally, Eddie Royal’s health is too valuable to the Broncos’ offense for him to constantly sacrifice his body on punt returns, which is one of the game’s most dangerous situations.

Josh Cribbs is an intriguing trade target. Cribbs, a top-three kick/punt returner (16.25 yards per PR and 26.1 yards per KR), is currently unhappy in Cleveland (who would not be?). At 6’1” and 215 pounds, he is also a capable, big-bodied wide receiver, and he possesses some knowledge of the Belichickian offensive system due to the time he has served under Warden Mangini.

- Three types of prescription drug companies advertise on television: cholesterol medications, erectile dysfunction pills, and anti-depressants. Who says America is not in great shape? Ah yes, people who are right about things.

It's official: Jay Cutler wants to look exactly like Alec Baldwin. The Bears QB should have no trouble packing on the extra, old-man weight, considering he loves sausage. P.S. Is Cutler wearing eye shadow in this photo? Little Ms. Maybelline loves Michigan Ave.

- After consuming the Chicago diet for the better part of a week one thing came to my attention: Josh McDaniels played a hilariously cruel joke on Jay Cutler by sending him to the Bears. Chicagoans subsist on four extremely unhealthy things: Chicago-style pizzas (over-stuffed, deep-dish meat and cheese pies that we should regard as dessert), sausage, Italian beef sandwiches, and Old Style beer. Cutler is not a slim man. He is going to retire as one hefty bear. Someone should send him some Lipitor (and Enzyte) today. Say, when does bear hunting season kick off in 2019?

- JR Smith gave Chauncey Billups the number 1 for the upcoming season. The embattled 24 year-old shooting guard will wear number 5 this year. Rumor has it that JR agreed to the swap because he owed Chauncey a favor after the Thrill From Park Hill drove him home from jail this summer.

The Broncos are once again 3.5 point underdogs. Denver, do yourself a favor and cash in on this game…and start Knowshon in your fantasy league. The Chargers are ranked 27th against the run, as Shawne Merriman is a decrepit shell of his former self. Merriman is living proof that steroids and bi-sexual, reality TV hussies can break even the strongest of men. Broncos 23, Chargers 17, 2 McDaniels sideline tirades, 3 man hugs, and 1 post-game fist pump.

Lights out, Shawne!

I leave you with some of the greatest man hugs and fist pumps of all time…

Click here to view the embedded video.

Click here to view the embedded video.

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Click here to view the embedded video.

Ryan Spilborghs grand slam against the Giants

The future is now...and it resembles Patrick Fugit.

My good friend Dobs has attended all of the Avalanche’s pre-season games. He lives and breathes Avalanche hockey. I think he loves the Avs almost as much as he loves his favorite local watering hole, The Cherry Cricket. Last week my friend had a great deal on his mind. Yes, Dobs is nervous because he is moving to South Korea next week; he will spend the next twelve months teaching English in Seoul. Yet, I tend to think Dobs is actually more nervous/excited about the ‘09 Avalanche, especially first-round draft pick Matt Duchene.

As a parting gift, I’ve allowed Dobs to address the masses. He composed the following letter to Avs fans for callitmilehigh.com under the alias “Thin Air.” Clever, I know. Dobs will write in periodically from his new roost abroad to share his perspective regarding all things Denver. Though it is nearly impossible for us to watch the NHL in America (up your nose with a rubber hose, Versus!), I believe Dobs has found some way to watch games in Asia. Go figure (please take note, commissioner imbecile…I mean, Bettman).

Ladies and Gentleman, I give you callitmilehigh.com’s inaugural editorial…

Dear Colorado,

With Number 19 permanently in Pepsi Center’s rafters come Opening Night, we will finally witness the first distinct changing of the guard for our hockey team since 1995. The Avalance slowly deteriorated since 2001. Hometown support waned as simple interest in the team vanished. The lockout, the subsequent salary cap, and the dreadful network exodus to Versus continue to haunt the league. These factors also contributed to the Avalanche’s demise. They have fallen from greatness–9 consecutive division titles–to, dare I say, shame and insignificance.

Dare I repeat myself, ”To shame and insignificance!”

As a city and state, we allowed this slide happen without accountability, without consequence. Why and how, you ask? Unfotunately, Our Town’s love and gratitude to Joe Sakic and Milan Hejduk forgives all; we are still drunk from a decade of dominance, Chris Draper’s blood, Roy’s attempts to score, blockbuster trades, and Ray Bourque’s grizzly playoff beard. We remain blinded by Peter the Great’s sheer brilliance. We are still transfixed by Footer’s perennially broken nose and swollen eyes. We always loved the regular season, as well as the offseason, because postseason success and offseason spending sprees so spoiled us. We were addicted to winning, and we befriended the guys who ensured victory. It is hard to turn your back on a friend, but it is now crucial that we ignore the ghosts of victories past.

As tough as it is to see Sakic leave the ice, I welcome his retirement. His decision to retire allows us to finally put our glory days behind us. We can now welcome a new generation of success by accepting a new generation of young stars. This healing process starts and ends with Matt Duchene.

Number 9 replaces Number 19.

I hear you screaming, “Foul. Boo. Never can Sakic be replaced.” No, Sakic’s performance on the ice and his loyalty to both his team and city will never be matched by another player. Not in this town. Not in this great state. Sakic’s loyalty to his franchise and hockey’s core values is one reason why he is a first ballot Hall of Famer. Yet, Sakic remained so loyal to Our Town because we all supported everything he did.

This is why Colorado must transfer its attention, its loyalty, and its entire fanbase to Matt Duchene. Get behind this eager eighteen-year-old. Go buy his jersey, or at least do a little background research on this humble boy from Peterborough. I attended his first two preseason games, and I already appreciate his energy, enthusiasm, and intelligence. Though his ice time was somewhat limited and erratic, he was patient beyond his years when carrying the puck around the net. Not to mention, his first two steps are faster than the road he took to the NHL; he was born in 1991! I hear he has a cannon of a shot, but I left Pepsi Center enamored most by his numerous decisions to pass instead of fire at will.

I do not expect tremendous success from the squad this season. Reality bites. The offense will hinge on Stastny’s point production, clutch shot, and (most unfortunately) his health. The team possesses a shockingly stingy defense, but its hopes rest on an unproven goaltender. As fans, we must wake up and realize that the trade deadline will no longer win the Avalanche a playoff series. Instead, the Avalanche’s success starts with a committment to coach Joe Sacco (who?) and his new system (what?).

As the saying goes, ”And then there were two…”

Hejduk and Foote are all who remain from our binge a decade ago. We remain loyal to these two gentlemen because they are just that: gentlemen. Although Hejduk tucked in the game-winning goal off the far post last week against the St. Louis Blues, I am concerned that the Avalanche can no longer rely on Milan’s Rocket Richard Award-winning touch. Never was this more evident than when Hejduk fanned on a clear breakaway during the second period.

Hejduk of 2001 snipes that shot top shelf, glove-side. No doubt.

Now, I doubt his scoring ability an awful lot.

Duchene has the skill set to compete in the NHL. He should not ever go back to Brampton. He cannot return to the Battalion for the sake of his development, and he must stay in Denver for Denver’s sake.

I miss the excitement, the thrill, and the enthusiasm of an Avalanche game. Jake Schroeder’s rendition of the National Anthem has been the most intriguing portion of Avalanche games for the past five years. Yes, Opie Gone Bad rocks (or rocked?), but enough already. Let’s welcome the new guard of players and management with arms wide open. However, let’s start things off on the right foot by holding all of the players, the coach, and the front office accountable for future direction the franchise takes. Sakic is gone, and so is the one reason to smile even as the losses pile up. With this fresh starts comes closer scrutiny. Sakic has finally become history. As a result, Greg Sherman (again, who?), Sacco, and Duchene now own the future successes and failures of this franchise. Judge these men fairly, but do judge them.

Here’s to hoping Matt Duchene finds his NHL legs quickly! I am setting my hopes high, but I vow to remain patient. Here’s to the unkown! This is something Denver’s hockey fans have not felt the thrill of since 1995 when the city received one of Canda’s favorite franchises. If nothing else, the unknown and the simple intrigue of a new, rising sports star in this city–a city so anxious to love a potentially great young leader–will restore relevency and hope to the Avalanche. Finally, here’s to another season of hockey in Colorado! Not even Versus can hinder my love of the past, present, and future of this team.

Kindly,

Thin Air

Tom Brady '01 looked a lot more like Kyle Orton (or a hungover serial killer) than the dapper 3-time Super Bowl champion, model marrying icon that he is today.

Eight years and two days ago, the course of NFL history changed. History has since been revised. Thank you, Morris C. Lewis.

It was the Hit Heard ‘Round the World. Down 10-3 to the New York Jets with five minutes remaining, the New England Patriots faced 3rd and 10 from their eighteen yard-line. On the ensuing play, Jets’ rookie defensive tackle Shaun Ellis interrupted Drew Bledsoe’s five-step drop and flushed him out of the pocket. The storied, 100 million-dollar New England quarterback rolled right, loafed 11 yards up the sideline, and was obliterated by Mo Lewis as he scampered out of bounds. Foxboro went silent. Drew’s internal organs had never Bled-soe much.

What happened next and unfolded over the remainder of the New England Patriots’ 2001 season bears particular relevance to the 2009 Denver Broncos. History may repeat itself, but it does not lie.

Amidst the chaos, Tom Brady ’01 checked into the game. Tom Brady ’01 should not be confused with Tom Brady ’02 or anyone who has ever impregnated both a Hollywood actress and a supermodel.

That countless NFL fans remember Tom Brady ’01 as Tom Brady ’07 is a problem. This line of thinking revises history.

Tom Brady’s career began on the Patriots’ 29 yard-line. Brady completed 5 of 10 passes for 46 yards (21 of which came on a single play), ran once for 9 yards, and failed to lead the Patriots to victory. Brady played well that evening. He “managed” the Patriots’ offense effectively during the game’s final drive. He did not manage to pull out what would later become his trademark: a victory.

Brady continued to “manage” the Patriots’ offense for the remainder of the season. His first two starts were not historic performances. Though the Patriots handily beat the Indianapolis Colts in Week 3, Brady only completed 13 of 23 passes (56.5%) and did not throw for a single touchdown. The Colts finished 6-10 in 2001, and did not qualify for the postseason. Brady played an abysmal game the following weekend against the surging Miami Dolphins. The Patriots lost 30-10 in Miami while Brady connected on 12 of 24 (50%) passes for a meager 86 yards and zero touchdowns. Yet, Brady did not turn the ball over in either game, which surely impressed Bill Belichick.

Meanwhile, New Englanders considered Brady a temporary solution. Not even Bledsoe believed Brady was capable of achieving success in the NFL. In an interview with the Boston Herald less than a month after his life-threatening injury, Bledsoe stated, “I feel like I’m going to be the starter for as long as I’m here.”

Drew spoke too soon. He became the most expensive clipboard-holder in NFL history faster than I just typed “Mo Lewis.”

Tom Brady “arrived” in Week 5 when Belichick set him loose on the San Diego Chargers. Brady displayed a newfound command of Belichick’s playbook during his third NFL start. The sixth-round draft-pick completed 33 of 54 passes (61%), amassing two touchdowns and league-wide respect. His second touchdown pass, a shot to tight-end Jermaine Wiggins, came in the final minute of the game and forced overtime.

The Patriots won 29-26 on a 44-yard field goal by Adam Vinatieri. Brady however received the bulk of the credit for the dramatic comeback victory. He engineered a marvelous game-winning drive. Brady identified numerous Charger blitzes, and his audibles led to a string of completions that set up Vinatieri’s game-winning kick. His poise and intelligence won the game.

Still, Brady ’01 never became Brady ’07. He was not even Brady ’04-’06:The Bridget Moynahan Years.

In 15 regular season games, Brady ’01 interspersed six impressive passing performances (91-pus QB rating) with nine relatively pedestrian outings (sub-79.6 QB rating). Although Brady finished the regular season with a solid 86.5 QB rating, a sine curve best describes his week-by-week performance. He was a wild card, who often played down to his competition. Few recall that Brady threw 10 of his 12 interceptions against non-playoff teams—Buffalo (2 INTs, 3-13), Carolina (2, 1-15), Denver (4, 8-8), and Cleveland (2, 7-9). Brady’s mediocre statistics make the Patriots’ first Super Bowl victory seem all the more stupefying.

The Patriots clinched the AFC East by winning 11 of their final 14 regular season games. They did so despite the fact that Brady only threw 18 touchdowns to counter his 12 interceptions during this span of games. This is by far the worst TD-INT ratio he has ever posted. They advanced to Super Bowl XXXVI even though Brady threw more interceptions (1) than touchdowns (0) in the first two rounds of the playoffs. They won the Super Bowl even though the future Mr. Bundchen only threw for one touchdown, 145 yards, and completed fewer than 60% of his passes in the Big Game!

History demonstrates that Brady played effective (not spectacular) football throughout the 2001-2002 season. So, how did the Patriots win consistently with him under center?

The Patriots won Super Bowl XXXVI because Brady always played within the confines of Bill Belichick’s game plan. Belichick’s success started on defense. He paired an aggressive, nameless front seven with a proven secondary (sound familiar, Denver?). He fortified his tough, dedicated defense by running a conservative offense. Belichick did not possess a dominant All-Decade football team. The 2001 Patriots did not lead the League in total offense or defense. The roster did not brim with Pro-Bowl talent. Belichick won because each week he convinced all of his players to execute his game plan.

But what is so special about that? Every winning coach gets the most out of his players.

This is where today’s fans contend, “Belichick won in ’01 because of The System! His proven “system” beat everyone!” Ah, of course, the good ol’ Patriot Way. Unfortunately, crediting the franchise’s incredible run and first Super Bowl victory to The Patriot System ignores and even contradicts history.

The playoffs were a pipedream for the 2001 Patriots. Dr. Z of “Sports Illustrated” ranked the Bledsoe-backed Patriots twenty-fifth out of thirty-one NFL teams in his 2001 pre-season power rankings. Yet, the imagination of the contemporary fan revises history. The post-’01 dominance of the Patriots organization causes people to believe that the 2001 Patriots were supposed to win 11 of their final 14 games. This perception could not be further from historical fact. Each week, the Patriots were supposed to stop winning. I remember this because I was there.

In 2001, I was attending high school in a suburb of Boston. The Fall of ‘01 was the most frustrating season of my life. I had no car. I had no privacy. I had no mountains. All the while, “Pats” fans surrounded me. They bore names like O’sull, Walshy, and “insert the nickname of a character in Good Will Hunting and/or Boondocks Saints here.” I lived in the Kingdom of the Enemy. Every week, I watched in disgust as the Patriots piled up yet another absurdly lucky victory. Yes, I broke things. Had Ray Bourque not recently jettisoned the Bruins and won a Stanley Cup with the Avalanche, Greater Boston would have eaten me alive. I felt like a caged bird…a caged bird that despised Tom Brady. The man was ruining my life. Griese was supposed to win and Brady, the back up, was supposed to lose. Bill Belichick had thrown off the natural order of my universe.

No one in Boston spoke of a “system” that would ultimately lead the Patriots to victory, let alone dynastic greatness. There was no saving the 2001 Patriots. With Bledsoe in the ICU, the Patriots were a pastiche of nobodies led by Ty Law, Lawyer Milloy, and an unproven, unpopular, second-year head coach. Suffice to say, The System did not rescue the 2001 Patriots. The System had yet to exist.

Revisionist history clouds our judgment. Tom Brady’s poor play against subpar opponents in 2001 tends to perplex those who examine his stats today. However, in 2001, few were surprised by Brady’s errors. Analysts and fans blamed Brady’s mistakes on inexperience and an overall lack of talent; no one expected precision, much less a Super Bowl run, from a sixth-round quarterback with no NFL experience. Brady’s improvement since 2001, especially his historic 2007 season, has altered our collective memory. We now expected the Patriots to markedly improve after Bledsoe’s brush with death.

Belichick’s constant success since 2001 has also blurred NFL history. No one outside of New England recognized “The Patriot Way” until Belichick won Super Bowl XXXVIII. That season the Patriots went 14-2 and won the Super Bowl with a roster that contained only three pro-bowlers—Ty Law, Willy McGinest, and Richard Seymour. None of these guys played offense. Talk of The System remained quiet until the 2004 Patriots set the NFL record for consecutive regular season victories and went on to win Super Bowl XXXIX.

By February 2004, the Patriots had won 28 regular season games in two seasons and consecutive Super Bowls. Belichick had become a genius in the process. He reached genius-hood in part by strategizing around season-ending injuries to established starting cornerbacks Ty Law and Tyrone Poole. The coach inserted Asante Samuel (a second-year NFL player, fourth-round draft pick), Randall Gay (a rookie undrafted free agent), and Troy Brown (an aging wide receiver) into the New England secondary. His creative gamble paid off. As the Patriots hoisted the Lombardi Trophy for the third time in four years, people came to believe that Bill Belichick could annually compete for a championship with a roster of antique chairs.

The franchise remained hungry and obsessively organized.

The New England System came of age in 2007, and it withstood the test of time (and injury) in 2008. Josh McDaniels played a major role in bolstering and preserving The System between 2006 and 2008; he had worked for the Patriots since 2001. McDaniels came of age while watching and actively helping Belichick change NFL history. Josh McDaniels is the Forrest Gump of the last decade of NFL football.

Pat Bowlen hired McDaniels for his work during the 2008 season. Yes, 2007 was an historic year in New England, but any team that starts eight Pro-Bowlers (3 of 5 offensive linemen) has a chance to re-write history. That is not to say that the ’07 Patriots were not impressive. They were arguably the best team ever assembled. Yet, their talent at every position made it more difficult to discern the impact the coaching staff had on each game.

Bowlen believes that McDaniels stopped the bleeding in 2008. Colorado hopes Bowlen is right, but only time will tell if Matt Cassel owes McDaniels a sixty-third of his new $63 million contract. Cassell will most likely have to pay up. McDaniels belongs at the helms of an NFL offense. Cassell does not, unless McDaniels is calling his plays.

Speculating that McDaniels is attempting to re-build the 2001 Patriots’ roster position-by-position in Denver oversimplifies his occupation. Nevertheless, the chain of events that unfolded in New England between 2001 and 2007 offers hope to the Denver Broncos.

The 2001 Patriots and the 2009 Broncos are strikingly similar teams. In a strange twist of fate, “Sports Illustrated” ranked the Broncos twenty-sixth out of thirty-two before Week 1 kicked off. More importantly, McDaniels is currently working with the same level of unproven talent and low expectations that Bill Belichick coached to victory in 2001.

Like the 2001 Patriots, the success of the 2009 Broncos starts with an anonymous yet voracious defense. Denver also lost its franchise quarterback. The plot thickens as a 6’4” unproven signal caller replaces a Pro-Bowl pocket passer. Additionally, the problem child formerly known as Brandon Marshall is the ’09 version of Terry Glenn. Glenn, a former Pro-Bowl wideout and a general nuisance, was in his prime when Belichick suspended him indefinitely in 2001 for his off-field transgressions. The franchise never offered Glenn a Super Bowl ring, and traded him to Green Bay before the 2002 season for two fourth-round draft picks. Say, didn’t numerous teams low-ball the Broncos during the pre-season by offering third and fourth-round picks in exchange for Marshall? The list goes on, and the resemblance will grow stronger each time the Broncos win in 2009.

Sports icons are predicated on revisionist history. Revising history produces glory. Take revisionist history with a grain of salt, but also be sure to learn from it. Retracing each step an historic athlete took to become a legend sheds light on both the past and the present. Keep in mind that Tom Brady ’01 was not Tom Brady ’07.

Kyle Orton will never be Tom Brady ’07. McDaniels of all people knows this. Orton however does not have to be Tom Brady ’07 for this team of Broncos to win games. Put your faith in the defense and coach McDaniels. He will do whatever it takes to win. This is the only method that McDaniels knows. He stuck with Cassell in ’08, passing on Chris Simms, and his controversial decision paid off. McDaniels received a head-coaching gig, and Cassell won the lottery. Stick to a successful method and you just might end up with a productive system. Just ask Bill Belichick…or his trusty sidekick who saw it all, Josh McDaniels.

Do not allow the glitz of the present to re-color the past. Remember history as it actually unfolded. Forget the legend of Tom Brady ’01. Brady was not a legend when he won his first Super Bowl, and he certainly did not play like one. Live in the present by remaining patient with the ’09 Broncos, especially on offense. Judge the Broncos for what they currently are: a 2-0 underdog led by a clever, competitive coach with everything to prove.

Eight years later in a town called Denver, the true story of Tom Brady ’01 endures.

It is easy and tempting to immediately dismiss question marks as flaws, so proceed with caution when evaluating the 2009 Broncos.

McDaniels will prove that he assembled a better roster and coaching staff than most expect, especially on defense. Mike Nolan is a brilliant defensive mind. The Suit worked wonders for the Baltimore Ravens as a defensive coordinator between 2001 and 2004.

The pre-McDaniels defense indeed required refurbishing. Perhaps more of a renovation was in order? No, last year’s defensive unit needed to be demolished and re-built to comply with the post-Obama Department of Energy Building Codes.

The 2009-10 Denver defense: Brought to you by Energy Star! All hail, the mighty yet affordable ‘Green’ Crush!

The McDaniels-Nolan defense possesses an attractive mix of aging wisdom and young, raw talent. Alphonso Smith does not jump. He bounces. Furthermore, Smith and ballhawk Darcel McBath will learn how to play NFL football from Champ Bailey and Brian Dawkins. Could a rookie ask for better professors? Bailey (Aristotle) and Dawkins (Confucius) are not only top-ten players of all-time at their respective positions, but they are also consummate professionals.

Relax and repeat after me, “The Broncos’ front-three, never needed Raji!”

Nolan expects his defensive linemen to perform inglorious, grunt work while Dumervil, DJ Williams, and Super Mario assault opposing quarterbacks. The Denver 3-4 relies on massive, motivated down-linemen. Journeymen Ronald Fields and Darrell Reid are adequate specimens; hunger always beats out hype.

B.J. Raji is the world’s most expensive gummy bear. He is soft, sweet, and thrives on two things: food and leisure. McDaniels’ passion would have melted the overhyped, overpaid, and overfed Raji down to a tub of goo. Wait, is the 345-pound leisure-fiend not already a tub of goo? Shrewd pick Fred Thompson. Gummy bears do tend to keep well when left in the freezer. A Gilbert Brown flashback just fried my mind. Anyone craving a Gilbert Burger? B.J. Raji just ordered seven.

The Broncos’ defense will make mistakes, but the unit will ultimately benefit from its lack of flashy players. Uncertainty inspires nameless professionals to work harder. They learn more quickly from each mental lapse. They will listen to Mike Nolan and adhere to the game plan. They will play with constant enthusiasm and reckless abandon. They will fall into line and produce because the waiver wire looms.

Guaranteed money does not always guarantee results.

McDaniels understands this concept. This idea explains the Broncos’ offseason, including the draft. McDaniels only acquired players that he believed would do more than just make his roster. He wanted players that compete daily and constantly contribute to a football team. A pricey player rarely pays off when he signs with a mediocre, re-building team. Expect McDaniels to reap the benefits of his controversial yet calculated offseason moves. He will likely receive more effort from his players this season and down the road because he only invests in players he trusts.

The Broncos are erecting a fortress for the future. Getting torched by the deep-ball, pounded by the run, or suspended by the League Office does not appear in the drafting plans (pun intended).

Nice touch, foreman Mc-D!

Now onto last Sunday’s festivities…

Referring to Sunday’s game as “awful” does not say nearly enough about the overall level of play fans witnessed. Boring? Yes, the game was boring, but boring events seldom leave one incensed and shocked. Frustrating? This game was not just frustrating to watch, it was wearisome to tolerate. Before last Sunday, had our great nation ever suffered through three full hours of football?

Watching the Broncos offense was like eating mud. The activity did not kill me, but my health did not benefit from the experience and it was hard to keep myself from vomiting.

Some thoughts on “The Game That Shall Not Be Re-Aired”…

- Dan Fouts is the worst commentator on television…in any sport. Period. His jokes about what NFL players did and looked like during the 60s and 70s were so thoughtless, pitiful, and numerous that I considered muting my TV. I only kept the volume on because Gus Johnson is a golden god.
- Where was Brandon Marshall during that entire game? Hold on. Allow me to rephrase that. Who pressed a scalding iron to Brandon Marshall’s hands on Saturday night thus rendering his fingers and palms useless for Sunday afternoon’s game? I know Marshall missed training camp, but he looked totally “checked out” against the Bengals. I have never seen such a powerful man expend less energy and roll over as easily as the 6′5″ 250-pound Marshall did in his first game back from suspension. One more performance like Sunday’s dud and it might be fair to claim that Marshall has indeed packed it in for the season.

Maybe Marshall needs a little more time to study the playbook. Yet, one would think that he spent the bulk of his time away from the team learning the new offense so that he could earn himself a new, lucrative contract? Of course, that assumption is far too rational, considering I am writing about Brandon Marshall.

Marshall might as well have dropped his pants and soiled the endzone at Paul Brown Stadium, and then followed that up by urinating on the Broncos’ bench. His performance on Sunday was that offensive (pun definitely NOT intended). Furthermore, public defecation would have been more productive and required greater attention to detail than any route he ran or catch he “tried” to make.

- Kyle Orton was brutal. Broken pinky aside, Orton looked indecisive, weak, and confused all day. I understand why McDaniels acquired Orton to replace Cutler. Orton is smart, tall, and allegedly possesses untapped potential. Yet, Orton is hopelessly average. He therefore remains a poor investment for a franchise that claims to be so devoted to avoiding mediocrity.

Orton lacks the competitive drive that defines all successful NFL players. Think about it. He had the opportunity for four seasons to run away with the keys to the Chicago Bears offense. He never did. His competition was Rex Grossman and the illustrious Brian Griese. Each time Orton won the starting job he managed to hand it back over to his lowly competition. He does not have “it.”

As far as weak-armed quarterbacks go, would you not take Chad Pennington’s useless rotator cuffs over Kyle Orton’s limp release? At least Pennington took losing the starting job in New York personally. He clearly used the Jets’ lack of faith in him as motivation to succeed once he landed in Miami. Maybe Orton is just reserved, but he did not look like a confident player or a leader out there against Cincinnati. This does not bode well for the Broncos’ offense. My mouth still tastes like mud…

- Ladies and Gentlemen, Rey Maualuga has arrived. He should not have dropped to the second round of the draft; he looks better in orange than Robert Ayers does. Maualuga and Keith Rivers make the Cincy defense one of the more underrated units in the NFL. Knowshon seconds this observation.

- Denver, please remain patient with Knowshon Moreno. He did not look good in his first regular season appearance, but he will move the chains by week ten.

- Faith in the Broncos’ defense remains firm. While the Bengals offense did not perform at an elite level, an NFL defense always deserves credit for holding an opposing offense to one touchdown and 86 rushing yards. Super Mario stole a sack lunch (num, num, num, num, num!), Champ’s legs looked healthy and fresh as he held Ochocinco in check, and the front-seven constantly harassed Carson Palmer and kept him from ever finding his rhythm.

- The Broncos remain shrouded in mystery. The nameless defensive line was supposed to crack. The Rotowire upgraded Cedric Benson to “sleeper alert” status. On the other hand, many expected McDaniels to at long last flash his fancy, red playbook. The Great Patriot Offense—the most “impressive” collection of screens and six-yard outs ever assembled—failed to launch. Pre-season football is meaningless; the Lions went undefeated in 2008 exhibition games. Unfortunately, McDaniels’ offense continued its pre-season timidity by not scoring a legitimate touchdown in Week 1. The burden of proof has shifted away from the defense and onto the offense until further notice. All Orton jokes are officially in play, especially ones that compare his arm to something that died in the Crimean War or was never born at all.

- What exactly does offensive coordinator Mike McCoy do? Walk McDaniels’ dogs? Fetch Nolan beverages in the play-calling booth? Moonlight as Marshall’s probation officer? McCoy carries the most ambiguous job description in pro sports.

- Josh McDaniels! Y-E-S! Say what you will about his stubbornness or his offseason decisions, but this man is an intense competitor. He carries a presence and belongs in the NFL. Coaching is his craft and he holds himself accountable for the performance of his players. Watching him berate Orton for taking a sack that pushed the Broncos out of field goal range and forced a punt late in the fourth quarter was the most exciting moment of the game…until the luckiest play in Denver sports history occurred.

McDaniels is also smart, meticulous, and persistent. He rebuked the officials when the game clock was incorrectly set to 20 seconds following the Bengals fourth-quarter touchdown. Moments later the game clock was re-set to 38 seconds, which paved the way for the luckiest play in Denver sports history. McDaniels hates mediocrity, and I bet he is also a sore loser. These are qualities one wants to see in an NFL head coach. Plus, I think he and I are technically part of the same generation, which is exciting.

- CSI, CSI: Miami, and CSI: New York. N-O! The proliferation of primetime crime dramas has officially gotten out of control. If the government can control the H1N1 virus, then they can certainly solve the current crime drama pandemic. This is a real problem that affects all of us.

- Poor Marvin Lewis. He is not a great head coach and he is not going to win many games this season. He won Sunday’s game, but then he did not win Sunday’s game. Bummer, man.

- 1-0 has never felt less good. Recall that Ed Hochuli lifted the Broncos to 2-0 last season. That said, the defense looked solid, and this team could make some noise if Marshall and Orton never ever again play like they did this past weekend.

- Don your most tattered sweatshirt and a plain facial expression in preparation for next weekend. It is Hood Jr. vs. Hood Jr. when the Broncos lineup against Cleveland. I would make a gentleman’s bet (in an effort to keep things as banal as Hood Sr.) that Belichick will root for young Josh.

The Broncos should build off of Sunday’s improbable victory. Plus, there is no way next Sunday’s match-up will play out as unpleasantly for the audience as “The Game That Shall Not Be Re-Aired.”

How much should Denver fans realistically expect from this man and his football team? Thankfully, McDaniels usually looks more decisive and confident than he does in this picture. Photo Credit: everyjoe.com

September 12, 1:46 PM:

I’m currently stretching in anticipation of the Broncos season opener tomorrow. I pulled my back out this morning, and I now have less than twenty-four hours to make sure my back and arms are limber enough to hoist large objects and lob them at my TV. I’m not necessarily planning to throw anything at my TV, but I must be ready at a moment’s notice to hurl inanimate objects because things could get ugly rather quickly tomorrow.

Yes, I’m a very worried man. I’m worried that I just pulled my back out and I’m only 23 years old. I’m worried that I might break a pricey plasma screen before noon tomorrow. I’m worried that Josh McDaniels might ultimately regret leaving Papa Belichick and Brother Brady, the comforts of Gillette Stadium, and blazing his own trail westward through this sick and twisted world; we all die alone, Josh…we all die alone! And I suppose I’m now worried that I just referenced death a mere 150 words into this column. I haven’t even discussed the Broncos’ playoff chances yet. Things indeed look quite grim at the moment.

September12, 2:33 PM:

You tell me that he doesn't at least make you slightly nervous. Remember, he has a lot of nukes to back up that terrifying gaze...Credit: Time Magazine

Nevertheless, perhaps I should re-evaluate my fears? I’ll always dread heights, flying on small airplanes, sharks, and Vladimir Putin, but enough is enough. I can rationally explain why I remain weary of each entity I just listed (Note: Putin was in the KGB, knows judo, is a despot, and his cold stare haunts my dreams). Yet, upon further reflection, I cannot fully explain why I’m so afraid of watching the 2009 Broncos. I can speculate that the defensive line is porous and raw, the offense is overrated and anemic, and that Kyle Orton’s odious pre-season play will carry over into the regular season. But I cannot confirm any of these suspicions. The truth is no one can, and not just because the Broncos have yet to play a down. Simply put, we do not know enough about the Denver Broncos to declare them a horrendous football team.

The Broncos are a mystery wrapped in an enigma shrouded by vagueness. They are far and away the most puzzling team in the NFL. Every facet of this team is new. The lineup is one enormous question mark. Though it is easy and tempting to hastily write off question marks as flaws, I caution you to avoid doing so. If an NFL team is heading towards a disappointing season, one can usually isolate and identify said team’s specific problems. For instance, this year you could say, “Jamal Lewis is old, used up, and bad,” or “Norv Turner and Wade Phillips are spineless dweebs, who will each serve as President before they can so much as spell ‘playoff win’,” or “Matt Millen spent eight years ‘building’ that franchise.” Trying to identify the Broncos’ specific problems is a futile exercise because we currently know so little about the components of Our Town’s football team.

Does Mr. Putin frighten you now?? Credit: huntersmark.com

September 12, 3:27 PM:

The offseason was turbulent. The regime change at Dove Valley has been tough to swallow, and the Broncos struggled mightily during the pre-season. But pre-season football is meaningless; the Lions went undefeated during the 2008 pre-season. I expect the Broncos to prove that they are a better football team than most expect, especially on defense. Mike Nolan is a brilliant defensive mind; he worked wonders for the Baltimore Ravens as a defensive coordinator between 2001 and 2004.

The Broncos defense possesses an attractive mix of aging wisdom and young, raw talent. Alphonso Smith and Darcel McBath will learn how to play NFL football from Champ Bailey and Brian Dawkins. Could you ask for better teachers? Bailey and Dawkins are not only top-ten players of all-time at their respective positions, but they are also consummate professionals. Josh McDaniels almost certainly considered this when he traded next year’s first-round pick for Smith. (Note: I watched Smith and McBath at training camp. McBath possesses nice size and is a ballhawk, who will likely take some time to adjust to the speed of the NFL. Smith is a legitimate talent. He might not be as great a punt returner as the Broncos expect him to be, but his footwork is fancy and he is freakishly athletic. Smith does not jump. He bounces.)

Alphonso Smith was great at Wake. Now the Broncos need him to step up his game in the wake of this coaching change.

I’m also excited about the Broncos linebackers. Elvis Dumervil will excel in his new position as an end-backer hybrid; he also plays at 200% on every down, which I love. Andra Davis, a savvy veteran, plays hungry football. Remember that Davis recorded twenty tackles in a single game several seasons ago. He is a bargain for the Broncos’ cap and brings an intensity and positive attitude that this team desperately needs. At 30, Davis is playing for financial security, so he will listen to his coaches, execute the game plan, and never take a play off. Additionally, look for Mario Haggan to flourish in blitz packages. Haggan is enormous (a taller version of London Fletcher) and looked great in training camp. The team recently named him a defensive captain for the upcoming season. Super Mario might be my new favorite Bronco.

The defensive line is the Broncos’ most looming question mark not named “Kyle Orton.” Many analysts argue that the Broncos lack necessary star-power up front, and therefore will not mount an effective pass-rush and will struggle to contain the run. Yes, the Broncos do lack proven talent along the front-three. However, who says a star will not emerge from this group? Ron Fields was an All-SEC tackle at Mississippi State and Chris Baker might have been a top-50 draft pick had he not been kicked out Penn State for assaulting two of his classmates. At least we know that Baker will play with some emotion; the last thing the Broncos need is another Jarvis Moss.

Mike Nolan dresses for success...and is a much better defensive coordinator than head coach. I feel quite comfortable with Nolan directing the Denver defense. You should, too. Credit: sportscrackelpop.com

I anticipate that Nolan will rely on his linebackers and hybrid end-backers to rack up sacks, not his front-three defensive linemen. The defensive line will perform inglorious, grunt work while Dumervil, DJ Williams, and Super Mario assault opposing quarterbacks. So, who cares if the Broncos’ front-three lacks star power? All that matters is that the front-three are big, strong, and do not take plays off. Fields and Baker, like so many faces on this defensive unit, are playing for their reputations and future contracts. The defensive line will make mistakes, but I predict the line will always play with enthusiasm and learn quickly from each mental lapse. I mean, these guys have no choice but to perform each Sunday or else they will hit the waiver wire the following week.

The mix of journeymen and prospects on defense, specifically along the defensive line, is indeed a major question mark for the Broncos. But do not write off the unit just yet. The defense will benefit from its lack of proven pro-bowlers. Uncertainty could inspire players to work harder and rise to the moment, leading to increased productivity. For the record, I have much less faith in Kyle Orton’s arm than the Broncos’ revamped and unproven defense. Ok, I’m going to say it: Nolan will have a top-fifteen defense by season’s end.

September 12, 4:19 PM:

Change is often an uncomfortable exercise. As humans (and Broncos fans), we crave and strive for change while simultaneously rejecting its nerve-racking effects. But we can’t have our cake (or coach) and eat it, too. In the words of former British Prime Minister Harold Wilson, “He who rejects change is the architect of decay. The only human institution which rejects progress is the cemetery.” The Broncos had to make a change. They might not be Super Bowl contenders at this point in time, but the organization had slowly decayed for the better part of a decade under the direction of Mike Shanahan. At this point in time, fans obviously cannot confirm that the organization has significantly improved. In the same breath, it is fruitless to convince yourself that the Broncos have regressed since last season.

We don't have to forget what Shanahan accomplished. The late 90s were the best of times. Too bad last year was the worst of times. Fare thee well, Shanny.

It is quite simple. The organization needed a new head coach. Pat Bowlen fired the coach that needed to be let go and hired a new coach. A smart, affordable, and unproven coach at that. Only time can solve the mystery of the 2009 Denver Broncos, so let’s just wait and see how this entire situation plays out. It is acceptable to be upset with and worried about the franchise, but what are you going to do? Not root for the home team? Not watch the games?

If you are particularly livid, perhaps you should hold off on purchasing tickets and traveling to Invesco Field; never invest in a faulty product, such as Kyle Orton. Yet, you should also consider that you and only you lose by fully boycotting the Broncos this season. You’re effectively punishing yourself for decisions that you had no hand in making. Sit back, relax, and at least be thankful that the Broncos have adopted a proactive mentality. The organization boldly displayed that it is willing to risk it all in an effort to avoid mediocrity. As a fan, what more could you ask for? We need to give this team a chance to prove itself before we take the easy way out by turning our backs on the franchise.

Uncertainty defines the 2009 Broncos. The team will live and die by its numerous question marks. But these question marks also reinforce the team’s overall potential, starting with Coach McDaniels. Be rational and keep in mind that the Broncos organization was headed towards the cemetery last January. These offseason moves have temporarily resurrected a dying franchise. Additional moves might be necessary, but allow the present to unfold before abandoning the future.

And how about now?

September 13, 2:15 PM:

Ok, I planned to write a running commentary of today’s game. Unfortunately, I found it too difficult to constantly muster up words to describe the events unfolding in Cincinnati. Referring to the game as “awful” does not say nearly enough about the overall level of play I just witnessed. Boring? Yes, the game was boring, but boring events seldom leave one incensed and shocked. Frustrating? This game was not just frustrating to watch, it was wearisome to tolerate. I’ve never suffered through three hours of football like I did this afternoon. Watching the Broncos offense was like eating mud. The activity did not kill me, but my health did not benefit from the experience and it was hard to keep myself from vomiting. So here are my thoughts on “The Game That Shall Not Be Named”…

Fouts was voted into the Pro Football Hall of Fame in '93. He will never be voted into the American Broadcasting Hall of Fame because he sucks at broadcasting. Dan, please step down at CBS and stick to your real passions: throwing footballs, golf, and beard growing.

- Dan Fouts is the worst commentator on television…in any sport. Period. His jokes about what NFL players did and looked like during the 60s and 70s were so thoughtless, pitiful, and numerous that I considered muting my TV. I only kept the volume on because Gus Johnson is a golden god.

- Where was Brandon Marshall during that entire game? Hold on, let me rephrase that. Who pressed a scalding iron to Brandon Marshall’s hands on Saturday night thus rendering his fingers and palms useless for today’s game? I know Marshall missed training camp, but he looked totally “checked out” against the Bengals. I’ve never seen such a powerful man expend less energy and roll over as easily as the 6′5″ 250-pound Marshall did in his first game back from suspension. One more performance like today’s dud and it might be fair to claim that Marshall has indeed packed it in for the season.

Maybe Marshall needs a little more time to study the playbook. Yet, you’d think that he spent the bulk of his time away from the team learning the new offense so that he could earn himself a new, lucrative contract? Of course, that assumption is far too rational, considering I am writing about Brandon Marshall.

Marshall might as well have dropped his pants and pooped in the endzone at Paul Brown Stadium, and then followed that up by urinating on the Broncos’ bench. His performance today was that offensive. Furthermore, public defecation would have been more productive and required greater attention to detail than any route he ran or catch he “tried” to make.

- Kyle Orton was brutal. Broken pinky aside, Orton looked indecisive, weak, and confused all day. I understand why McDaniels acquired Orton to replace Cutler. Orton is smart, tall, and allegedly possesses untapped potential. Yet, I worry that Orton is hopelessly average. He therefore remains a poor investment for a franchise that claims to be so devoted to avoiding mediocrity.

After watching Sunday's game, the Coen brothers decided to re-make their 2001 film "The Man Who Wasn't There." The re-make is a silent film called "The Men Who Were Not There. " It stars Marshall and Orton in place of Billy Bob and James Gandolfini, and the plot chronicles the "electrifying" game that occurred in Cincy on Sept 13, 2009. When asked why it is a silent film, Joel Coen replied, "The deafening silence adds to the film's authenticity; the lack of speech makes you feel as though you were actually on the sidelines at Paul Brown Stadium...or watching it on TV in Denver."

Orton lacks the competitive drive that defines all successful NFL players. Think about it. He had the opportunity for four seasons to run away with the keys to the Chicago Bears offense. He never did. His competition was Rex Grossman and (our favorite) Brian Griese, and each time Orton won the starting job he managed to hand it back over to his lowly competition. He does not have “it.”

As far as weak-armed quarterbacks go, I’d much rather have Chad Pennington on my team than Kyle Orton. At least Pennington took losing the starting job in New York personally. He clearly used the Jets’ lack of faith in him as motivation to succeed once he landed in Miami. Maybe Orton is just reserved, but he did not look like a confident player or a leader out there today. This does not bode well for the Broncos’ offense. My mouth still tastes like mud…

- Rey Maualuga is legit. He should not have dropped to the second round of the draft. Maualuga and Keith Rivers make the Cincy defense one of the more underrated units in the NFL. I bet Knowshon agrees with me.

- Denver, please remain patient with Knowshon Moreno. He did not look good in his first regular season appearance, but he will move the chains by week ten.

- My faith in the Broncos’ defense remains firm. While the Bengals offense did not perform at an elite level, an NFL defense always deserves credit for holding an opposing offense to one touchdown and 86 rushing yards. Super Mario recorded a sack (num, num, num, num, num!), Champ’s legs looked healthy and fresh as he held Ochocinco in check, and the front-seven constantly harassed Carson Palmer and kept him from ever finding his rhythm.

- I’m a huge Josh McDaniels fan. Say what you will about his stubbornness or his offseason decisions, but this man is an intense competitor. He has a presence and belongs in the NFL. Coaching is his craft and he holds himself accountable for the performance of his players. Watching him berate Orton for taking a sack that pushed the Broncos out of field goal range and forced a punt late in the fourth quarter was the most exciting moment of the game…until the luckiest play in Denver sports history occurred.

McDaniels is also smart, meticulous, and persistent. He rebuked the officials when the game clock was incorrectly set to 20 seconds following the Bengals fourth-quarter touchdown. Moments later the game clock was re-set to 38 seconds, which paved the way for the luckiest play in Denver sports history. McDaniels hates mediocrity, and I bet he is also a sore loser.

Sorry, Marvin. I too thought you had this one in the bag. Don't worry, things'll turn around...wait, they probably won't. At least you tried, right?

- I’m not a fan of CSI, CSI: Miami, or CSI: New York. The proliferation of primetime crime dramas has officially gotten out of control. If the government can control the H1N1 virus, then they can certainly solve the current crime drama pandemic. This is a real problem that affects all of us.

- I feel sorry for Marvin Lewis. He is not a great head coach and he is not going to win many games this season. He won today’s game, but then he didn’t win today’s game. Bummer, man.

- 1-0 has never felt less good. Recall that Ed Hochuli advanced the Broncos to 2-0 last season. That said, the defense looked solid, and this team could make some noise if Marshall and Orton never ever again play like they did today.

I’m excited for Hood Jr. vs. Hood Jr. when the Broncos play the Browns next weekend. I think the Broncos will build off of today’s improbable victory. Furthermore, there is no way next Sunday’s match-up will play out as unpleasantly as “The Game That Shall Not Be Named.”

Click here to view the embedded video.

Watch it one more time. I’m still completely speechless. I started laughing hysterically when it happened. First of all, thank you, Gus Johnson. Your passionate commentating on this play made the game interesting for the first time since kickoff. Dan Fouts, why did you have to ruin this moment? Please do not answer me out-loud, just think about it. Second, pay attention to McDaniels after Brandon Stokley scores. His intensity is awesome. He doesn’t even celebrate. Rather, McDaniels immediately screams at Orton to go for two. I swear the man is never satisfied, and that is a great thing. Finally, Kyle, I’m sorry, but you actually did nothing right on that play.

September 13, 11:45 PM:

I leave you with a parting treat…trust me, you’ll enjoy it. I will now go to sleep a happy Broncos fan.

Click here to view the embedded video.

Who is ready for some Giamba Juice? I know I am.

I went to Jamba Juice yesterday for an afternoon pick-me-up. After several moments of deliberation, I settled on an Aloha Pineapple smoothie. I usually order a Strawberry Whirl, but for some strange reason I shook things up. The Strawberry Whirl is not an exciting frozen beverage. The drink’s strawberry-banana base does not shock one’s taste buds and it even bears a boring name. Yet, what the Strawberry Whirl lacks in boldness it makes up for in its consistently delicious flavor, making it a safe bet. I however have been watching far too much Rockies baseball as of late to settle for safe bets.

Maybe it was the wild orange and green walls that caused me to avoid the Strawberry Whirl. Or perhaps it was the fact that I had slugged my way through 48 ounces of coffee before 2 PM and felt frivolous. Electric colors and caffeine aside, I truly believe it was the Rockies that persuaded me to up the ante on my smoothie order. I thought of Giamba Juice while standing in line at my local Jamba Juice and immediately determined that it was time to knock my tongue out of the park.

The recent moves to acquire Juice Daddy and Jose Contreras demonstrate the Rockies commitment to the present. As a fan, I could not be more pleased. The looseness of the Rockies clubhouse has already rubbed off on Giambi. He is as relaxed as he is poised. Furthermore, pitching in the National League will probably allow Contreras to challenge John Smoltz and Brad Penny for the Cy Young Award.

That's not natural...but Oak Express is!

I am particularly thankful for the Giambi acquisition. Getting Contreras was a shrewd move, especially after Aaron Cook went on the DL, Jon Garland was traded to the Dodgers, and Penny signed with the Giants. Giambi however energizes the Rockies in a unique way. He brings the flair (and clutch batting) that the Rockies need at this juncture of the season.

I was in attendance last Wednesday when Giambi hit his game-winning, go-ahead, two-run double in the bottom of the eighth inning against the New York Mets. Witnessing this moment made my week. Not only did I pay a mere ten dollars to sit three rows behind first base and was allowed to bring a Chipotle burrito into the game, but I also saw firsthand how comfortable and confident Giambi is now that he is playing for the Rockies. Giambi still baffles and intimidates pitchers. Even at 38, Giambi lacks a “hole” for pitchers to throw at. He also has great eyesight, which allows him to draw plenty of walks and get on base even when he is not ripping lasers over Luis Castillo.

Giambi will devour NL pitchers one-by-one as the Rockies march into the playoffs. But more importantly, Rockies fans and players have already rallied around Giambi…and his epic handlebar mustache.

Juice Daddy has turned his frown upside down since arriving in Our Town (that rhyme was great, right?). Plus, his handlebar has flourished at altitude. His current mustache is much fuller and bolder than the one in this dated picture.

I myself headed straight to the dugout store after Giambi was named Player of the Game in an effort to purchase a Giambi jersey t-shirt. In the afterglow of Giambi’s late-game heroics, specifically his “graceful” slide into second base, I became a man on a mission. I planned to buy the shirt, immediately remove its sleeves, and then wear my new Giambi cut-off to the bars on Blake Street. Unfortunately, Rockies retail was not prepared to fulfill my request. The t-shirts were “on-order” and had yet to hit the shelves. I’m hoping to pick at least one up during the next homestand.

Rockies manager Jim Tracy calls Giambi “Russell Crowe.” This is one of the most creative and appropriate nicknames I’ve ever heard. Giambi is a gladiator. He beat cancer and battled his way back into the spotlight after admitting he used steroids. Furthermore, Giambi’s grizzled appearance and lumberjack forearms would make you believe he just might beat you down with a corded phone if he drank too much and you looked at him the wrong way (yes, Russell Crowe actually did this to a desk clerk at the Mercer Hotel in New York City).

JD doesn't just stand for Juice Daddy. That bottle is actually the size of a Geo Metro. What a powerful combination...

But looks can be deceiving.

Giambi is soft spoken and wise. He is the perfect mold for these new-look Rockies. The Rockies needed a left-handed power stroke off the bench. Giambi needed a new home and a clean slate as he enters the twilight of his career. He deserves the success he is currently enjoying with the Rockies. Giambi’s previous achievements earned him a second chance in pinstripes, just like Crowe’s better roles influenced moviegoers to forget “A Good Year.” If Hollywood had given up on Crowe in 2006, which was not “a good year,” we never would have enjoyed “American Gangster” in 2007.

Jason Giambi was Maximus in his former life. P.S. Russell Crowe, like Giambi, is a badass.

As I sit and watch the Rockies dismantle the Cincinnati Reds, I can only smile each time the camera zooms in on Juice Daddy. His iridescent shades are radical, and his graying handlebar is charming. His grin remains childish. It is clear that this bear of a man still has something to prove. It is also obvious that his love of the game endures. He is calm, collected, and very cool. Above all else, Giambi is having fun again.

Giambi, not catcher Yorvit Torrealba, has just trotted over to the mound in an effort to settle the nerves of 21-year-old relief pitcher Jhoulys Chacin after his first three pitches registered as balls. This is why the Giambi experiment will work. He relishes his role on the Rockies, and he is cool enough that all the young guns will listen to him.

The Giambi acquisition made sense on paper and in theory several weeks ago when the Rockies sent Giambi to Colorado Springs. The box scores over the last ten days indicate that the Rockies front office is a clever bunch. Giambi has more than a little left in the tank, especially now that he faces NL pitchers everyday. He has singlehandedly won the Rockies two games since he joined the big league club, and the Oakland Athletics are paying the bulk of his salary. Now that’s “moneyball,” Billy Beane!

Oh wait, nevermind...Russell Crowe actually is not a badass. This photo + Watching "A Good Year" on an airplane three years ago=Me reconsidering everything I've ever thought about Russell Crowe.

Moreover, the Rockies made a bold and somewhat historic statement by remaining so active before and after the trade deadline this season. Pursuing Garland and landing Giambi, Contreras, Betancourt, and Beimel shows how special a year this is for the Rockies. This organization has never been in as favorable a position as the one it currently occupies.

The front office went on a post-trade deadline mission because this time around they knew their team had more than a fighting chance. Dan O’Dowd and his staff neutralized specific holes in the Rockies lineup with a slew of calculated, post-trade deadline acquisitions. The front office has never been in the position to make such deals.

The Rockies were a good team in 2007. However, they were not a playoff threat until they went on a 20-game tear to close out the regular season. They entered the 2007 playoffs hot, but the Red Sox eventually exposed their lack of depth and talent. The 2007 World Series might have ended differently if the Rockies had been twenty games over .500 in August and acquired some extra pieces…

Dan O'Dowd is the new Billy Beane. They are similar in many ways, except Beane was projected to be the next Ted Williams and O'Dowd LOVES God. Note: I found this picture on another wordpress blog that is called "JCSuperstars." Check it out, they have an entire section called "Become a Christian."

This year is different. The Rockies strung together months of consistent baseball for the first time in franchise history. Therefore, the front office sought to ensure that the team is deeply armed, offensively potent, and defensively solid as it embarks on its postseason journey. The fans continue to reap the rewards of the front office’s hard work. The Rockies are overflowing with young talent (just look at the plethora of outfielders), and the clubhouse is chock full of interesting story lines. We are privileged to follow a team as exciting and intriguing as the 2009 Rockies.

Aloha Pineapple! Aloha Jason!

Editor’s Note: September 15th

I’d like to inform everyone that the Huffington Post is coming to Denver! The Huffington Post will launch a Colorado-specific online publication on September 15th and I’ve been asked to regularly contribute as a sports/culture columnist. As a result, I’ve built a new site for myself at the url www.callitmilehigh.com, which will also launch on September 15th. The new site looks amazing. It will have an archive of all my dated columns, but it also boasts several new features, including an online store and a video archive. Thank you so much for your continued support over the last several months. The Huffington Post discovered me because all of you read what I have to say. Please tell your friends about my new site and the Colorado Huffington Post. I’ll continue to put my best work out there because I truly appreciate your readership. Thanks!

He's wearing purple. Why aren't you?

OK, it has been about five weeks since my last column. For that, I apologize. The past month or so has been a wild ride. I’ve moved homes, tirelessly searched for employment, and developed a full-fledged addiction to Rockies baseball.

I re-pledged my fanship to the Rockies earlier this summer. I made good on this vow by traveling to Queens to watch the Rockies play the New York Mets at the end of July. My trip to Flushing had few ups and many downs. The weather was terrible, the Rockies lost both games I attended, and Citi Field is more of an amusement park than a ballpark.

I admit that Citi Field is an architectural marvel. The stadium’s façade resembles old Ebbets Field in Brooklyn, a historical MLB ballpark, and there is not a bad seat in the house. Even so, sitting in the stands comes at a steep price–both literally and figuratively. Unfortunately, Citi Field’s classic façade does not protect the sanctity of the game played within its walls.

Citi Field is built to resemble the Brooklyn Dodgers stadium Ebbets Field. The facades match, but Citi has no soul.

Citi Field is the opposite of Coors Field. This is not surprising when one considers the location of each stadium. Contemporary Flushing is less charming than North Blake Street circa 1984, and Mets fans do not even register on the “classy fan” index. Furthermore, I paid $48 dollars per game to sit in the uppermost level above right field. I felt as though I was watching a ball game in Tokyo. The seats at Citi are piled on top of one another, creating a sense of discomfort and nauseating vertigo in the upper decks. Additionally, stadium patrons are bombarded by advertisements wherever they look and listen; as if vertigo was not enough to contend with when seated in the uppermost reaches of Citi Field.

Seriously, every inch of the new stadium was sold as ad space. Even the structural beams supporting the right field box, known as The Pepsi Porch, were not off limits to corporate sponsors. The constant flash of neon product names at Citi could trigger a seizure. Worse yet, the Mets shamelessly play loud advertisements on the stadium’s HD jumbotron in between outs. This has to be the most annoying feature of Citi Field. I learned at Citi Field that the audio experience of a baseball game is an aspect of pro sports that too often goes overlooked. Instead of breaking down the previous play with my buddy Berry, I was forced to watch and listen to ads for “upcoming non-gameday events.” Let’s hear it for “non-gameday events!” Yes! (Note to Bud Selig: I purchase tickets and travel to a ballpark to avoid annoying television advertisements. The MLB should ban talking TV ads on all stadium jumbotrons. It induces sensory overload. Franchises that force-feed verbose video advertisements to ticketholders encroach on the purity and bliss of live baseball.)

Look, it's the guy who sat in front of me at both Mets-Rockies games! Fate? I think not. "Excuse me, sir, but even though it is 9:17 PM the sheen from your fake tan is impeding upon my ability to watch Fernando Tatis bat. Also, I think some of your hair gel just oozed onto my feet." Remember to stay classy, Dirty Jerz and Strong Island!

I did not merely watch eighteen innings of baseball at Citi Field. I endured over seven hours of brutal humidity, abusive product placement, fake tans and blown out hairdos…on men, and, worst of all, pitiful play by the visiting Rockies. It was humiliating. It was tiring. It was New York City.

On the bright side, I discovered Bohemia Hall and Beer Garden in Astoria. This place quickly became one of my new favorite spots in all of New York. Bohemia Hall is New York City’s oldest beer garden. The authentic central European taphouse is located adjacent to the 7-subway line, which one takes from Manhattan to Citi Field. I stopped at Bohemia Hall for some pre-game perogis and pitchers. My Czech waiter, Viktor, introduced me to Brauchek (pronounced “bro-check,” which is awesome), a dark yet extremely drinkable Czech beer, and he treated me to the best red cabbage I’ve ever tasted. When you travel to New York City, you must check this place out.

Now back to greener, sunnier pastures…

I attended several Rockies games during the recent 10-game homestand. Coors field, what a happy place. The relaxing atmosphere and classic ballpark architecture make Coors Field one of the most pleasant professional sports stadiums in America. There is however one problem with Coors Field: the stadium employs a subpar DJ.

As I previously stated, the audio experience of an MLB game often goes overlooked. I love Coors Field, but I take issue with the fact that “We Like to Party” by Vengaboys plays after each Rockies home run. Is Denver really a Vengaboys town? I don’t think so. Furthermore, the song “We Like to Party” does not hit home (pun intended) on any personal or local level with Rockies fans. Yes, the Dutch techno beat does make ladies rise from their seats and dance after they’ve consumed three Mike’s Hard Lemonades. But the song ultimately bears no reference to the Rockies or the locality in which they play.

Several days ago I set out on a quest to find the perfect 2009 Rockies home run song. The new home run song at Coors Field needs to stand for something. It must connect the fans to their ball club every time a Rockies player completes the sweetest of strokes and goes yard. This is especially important due to the elevated (sorry, I couldn’t resist that pun either, I promise I’ll stop) number of balls that go over the wall here in Denver.

Here is a list of the best and worst songs I considered:

1. “Footloose” by Kenny Loggins

This classic 80s tune is absolutely infectious. It is impossible to keep from dancing to this song. In the same breadth, the song does not relate to Colorado, the Rockies, or baseball in any way. I suppose this fact makes it nothing more than a retro version of “We Like to Party”; the music video screams, “Our generation LOVES to party!” Additionally, the music video would have to play on the jumbotron while the song blared through the loudspeakers. The crazy 80s footwork, back flips, high-fives, and constant shots of a young, still cool Kevin Bacon would energize any Coors Field crowd even if the Rockies were losing.

Click here to view the embedded video.

I haven't missed this ballpark in years. I suppose it is finally time to go back...

I confess that there are two Colorado entities that I’ve remained skeptical of in recent years: The Fray and the Rockies.

Even as The Fray rose to super stardom, I was never comfortable listening to their music. I’ve never been comfortable listening to The Fray because I think their songs are dreadful. I cringe and turn the dial whenever KBCO plays a new Fray single. The group’s trite, overwrought lyrics are not even a guilty pleasure. The Fray is not piano rock or an alternative rock band. The Fray is yet another bad Christian rock band represented and popularized by Sony. That’s it.

I did not attend Denver East High School, but I nonetheless maintain strong ties to the institution. Two of my brothers went to East and many of my friends are Angel alumni. None of them are proud that The Fray featured the East High campus in a 2005 music video.

Great, you guys are in Tokyo! Now please stay there. Also, consider singing in Japanese, so I'll no longer comprehend your lame lyrics. Arigatou, fellas.

A typical fan of The Fray takes solace in the band’s hackneyed sound. Fans find lead singer Isaac Slade’s fauxhawk, faith, and pain (and his faith in pain) curiously endearing. I’ve been told that one should listen to The Fray to sooth the soul following a break up or to boost morale after a steep fall from grace. I however would play the band’s latest album, the self-titled hit “The Fray,” on a loop to initiate a break up. I am fairly certain that I could end our relationship by drowning my girlfriend in the group’s collective sorrow and confusion. The track “Where the Story Ends” seals the deal. Hearing that song for the eighth time undoubtedly convinces her that I am so depressed and emotionally frail that I cannot even help her pack up her belongings before she rushes out my door.

The Fray is not a good band. They choke on their own melodrama while Slade wishes he were David Gray. Though the band’s members hail from Colorado, it is unfortunate the group recently headlined the Mile High Music Festival. The song “You Found Me” sounds like something a fourteen year old falls in love to at Bible camp. I hear the band’s next project will be laying down the soundtrack to Young Life’s rendition of “When Harry Met Sally.”

Moving on…

I have been unwilling to trust the Colorado Rockies for much of the past decade. Truth be told, I gradually lost interest in the Rockies. As a little leaguer, I was overjoyed to finally have an MLB team in Denver to root for. I remember attending the Rockies’ second game at Mile High Stadium. I purchased a pennant that read “I Was There!” and displayed a large illustration of the stadium. Upon returning home from Mile High, I promptly used a sharpie to mark where I had sat at my first Rockies game. The pennant stayed on my wall for several years, and the little black “x” between first base and right field continued to reinforce Rockies optimism.

Ladies and Gents, Denny Neagle! That look just screams, "Sure, I enjoy being a big league pitcher. But I truly love hookers and Old Grandad Bourbon. Got a problem with that?"

My passion for the Rockies faded due to a combination of factors. For one, I stopped playing baseball. It was therefore easy to cease caring about the Rockies as the Blake Street Bombers disbanded, the losses piled up, and the franchise introduced Dinger as the team’s mascot. It was somewhere between the birth of Dinger and Denny Neagle’s infamous car-date on Colfax that I gave up on the Rockies. I did not necessarily care about Neagle’s legal woes; I was actually much more disturbed that the most shameful mascot in sports history represented a Colorado team.

Denver’s baseball culture waned following Y2K. After leading the major leagues in attendance during the mid-1990s and proving that Denver was indeed a baseball town, things went utterly wrong at Coors Field. And people, including myself, could not have cared less.

I moved to Boston soon thereafter and discovered a true baseball Mecca on Lansdowne Street. I was taken aback by the rich tradition and history of the Red Sox. Everyone in Boston followed the Red Sox. The Red Sox are to Boston, as the Broncos are to Denver. Red Sox games are always televised, and more importantly the majority of the public always watches them. When I lived in Boston, local sports radio hosts spent hours debating then-manager Grady Little’s decision to remove Nomar in the seventh inning of a seemingly meaningless May game against the Texas Rangers.

Dante, unlike Neagle, was a class act Rockie. And I want that t-shirt.

The truth is that no baseball game is meaningless in Boston. Far too many Red Sox fans care about their favorite franchise year round. The same can be said about the New York Yankees and their fan base.

Baseball is inescapable on the East coast. Red Sox and Yankees fans are like soccer hooligans in Europe or futbol fanatics in Central and Latin America. I discovered a much more exciting brand of baseball in Boston. Fenway is never empty and tickets to the big games are nearly impossible to acquire. Attending a Red Sox-Yankees game is a privilege, and going to Fenway during the playoffs will change any sports fan’s life. Yet, Bostonians and New Yorkers are equally humbled and rowdy when they attend regular season games. Their relentless enthusiasm amazes me. We are not as constantly passionate about the Rockies because professional baseball is not as significant in Denver as it is in Boston or New York.

Though Rockies fever enveloped Denver during the 2007 playoffs, I remained skeptical. At heart, I feared becoming a bandwagon fan. I had just spent the majority of a decade disinterested in Rockies baseball. It was not that I disliked the franchise. Rather, I simply did not feel anything for the Rockies because I had not tracked their successes and failures since I was a pre-teen.

Rocktober ’07 was an interesting period of my life. It brought about more personal reflection than admiration or excitement. I nonetheless emerged from Rocktober just as I had entered it: disinterested in the Rockies and pissed off that Dinger still existed.

Who honestly conceived this as the face of the Colorado Rockies? Come on! I'm even more incensed that someone continues to collect a pay check to be Dinger. Please donate the mascot's salary to charity so I feel better about this whole situation.

This summer I decided to make a concerted effort to fall back in love with the Rockies. I followed the team in the Denver Post and on ESPN.com, but these articles did not suffice. As a last resort, I read Michael Lewis’s book Moneyball. It is now safe to label me a “changed man.” I see the game of baseball in a whole new light. I watch games unfold pitch by pitch and truly appreciate the value of homegrown talent. If you are reading this column and have not read Moneyball, finish reading this column and then go read Moneyball. You do not even have to like baseball for the story to fascinate you. The book alters the way one views and dissects professional sports.

It also explains the current make up of the Colorado Rockies. The Rockies are one of the MLB’s premiere “moneyball” teams. The franchise creatively and frugally fills the holes on its roster with savvy veterans and efficient role players, while simultaneously growing talented and uniquely effective minor league prospects. Dan O’Dowd’s tendency to decline huge paydays to homegrown Rockies not named Helton and Francis is not such a travesty after all. Furthermore, it is actually a boon that O’Dowd often acquires notable players during the last year of their contracts only to part with them at season’s end (i.e. the Jason Marquis situation). Baseball, like finance, is a transient business; understanding when to let go of an asset is as important as knowing when to acquire it in the first place.

Truth be told, I did not attempt to reconnect with the Rockies on my own volition. My good friend Kevin, a New Yorker now living in Denver, convinced me to give the Rox another shot. I am already glad I did. I publicly re-pledge my fanhood to the Colorado Rockies! So there. I said it, and I promise I mean it.

I'm excited for Jim Tracy's passion and boisterous managerial style. I'm fully committing to Tracy and Co. by heading to Queens, NY next week.

I nevertheless remain unapologetic about my years of ignorance. It was a dark period for baseball in Colorado, and I proved my worth by refusing the urge to jump on the bandwagon during Rocktober ’07. I would be forced to repent if I had immediately fallen back in love with the team during the World Series run. But I didn’t.

As a testament to my commitment to the Rockies, I will attend two of the Rockies upcoming away games against the New York Mets. I’ll dig up my Dante Bichette shirt, travel to Citi Field, and root for the Rockies.

I’ve officially restored my faith in the purple and black. And no, I will not celebrate by listening to The Fray.

P.S. Thanks, Kevin. Maybe Yankee fans are not as evil and selfish as I previously thought…

Videos:

Check out Dan O’Dowd’s mid-season assessment of the Rockies

Click here to view the embedded video.

Like father like son? Take a look at Dante Bichette Jr.’s home run during the ‘05 Little League World Serious. Also, pay attention as proud coach Dante Sr. cheers from the bench. We miss you, Dante.

Click here to view the embedded video.

How crazy is B-Marsh? Should we even care?

Hypocrisy stands at the root of my issues with embattled Broncos wide receiver Brandon Marshall. His freakish strength and unparalleled ability to create plays after the catch do not mitigate his criminal record. It is the NFL’s duty to discipline Marshall when he steps out of line. As long as Marshall beats a criminal charge and escapes the League Office, it is legitimate that he dresses on Sundays. Protest the franchise, burn a jersey, or even picket on the stadium’s steps, but rest assured that nothing will keep Marshall out of the starting lineup if he is healthy and unsuspended.

It is nevertheless damning that Marshall continues to surface as a suspect in domestic abuse cases across the country. It is far too easy for Marshall to settle these disputes inside or outside of a courtroom for us to not remain at least cautiously critical of his character; I know Harvey Steinberg nodded his head and smiled when he read this last sentence. ‘Innocent until proven guilty’ may allow Marshall to remain on the field and earn his living, but our common sense should forbid him from advising children.

This is not to say that a person who has erred greatly does not deserve a second chance. Remorse at the hands of deep reflection occasionally qualifies a public offender to tell others cautionary tales about what not to do. Our city however can no longer trust Brandon Marshall. His “genuine” remorse expired two arrests ago.

Marshall has always managed to avoid jail time. He has also managed to worm his way back into the positive spotlight time and time again. His publicist and the Denver Post have made all of this possible. But enough is enough. If the judicial system exonerates Marshall and Roger Goodell clears him to play, so be it. He is nothing more than an All-Pro wide receiver on an offensively depleted roster. As a fan, I hope he continues to score touchdowns in orange and blue. I also hope for his sake that he earns a fair salary, considering he risks his life every time he steps onto the turf. Yet, I hope most of all that Denver ceases to offer him the opportunity to say he is sorry.

Shannahan could not get Marshall to act like a gentleman off the field. Will McD even try?

This is the only way that Marshall will ‘get it’ from here on out. The prepared statements Marshall reads to reporters and releases through his attorneys can no longer suffice. The Denver Post needs to remove itself from this public relations fiasco by saying “no” to Marshall’s publicist. Articles about Marshall’s involvement with Open Door Youth Gang Alternatives should never again appear in an issue of the Post. The kids at ODYGA deserve better from Marshall and their city’s paper. Both have used these at risk kids as PR pawns. Celebrity athletes only get one shot at being a mentor. Marshall failed. The media therefore must stop trying to turn Brandon Marshall into a positive societal story.

Casting Marshall as a mentor is partially what got us to this point of no return. The media and the Broncos tried to convince the public that Marshall is something he is not: a humanitarian. He is nothing more than a confused athlete with anger management issues. Though he has never been proven guilty, he has lost his credibility within our city. He publicly apologized and promised he could change. More importantly, Marshall used ODYGA as a road to redemption. Yet, he continues to let all of us down. Why would we want to be aware of anything this man thinks beyond his postgame reactions on Sundays?

Laud Marshall’s on-field courage and feel free to label him an athletic specimen, but it is best to refrain from speculating about his off-field persona. Stick to football-related questions when it comes to Number 15 because that is all he understands. Plus, we have already devoted far too much spotlight to his questionable character, poor judgment, and pithy public apologies.

Hi, my name is Brandon Marshall, which in ancient Greek means: "One who engages in 7 domestic disputes in 3 states in a 4-year span." Pretty sweet name, right? I totally rack up numbers on and off the field.

We can focus on the box score and forget about the humanitarian formerly known as Brandon Marshall, but how does a fan put morals aside and pull for an athlete like Marshall? What, if anything, does a professional athlete owe his or her fans and community?

These are pertinent questions as JR Smith enters the penitentiary, Michael Vick is released from federal custody, and Marshall heads to training camp in a week and a courtroom later this fall.

Charles Barkley once said, “Just because I can dunk a basketball doesn’t mean I should raise your kids.” Chuck was absolutely correct. It is not a professional athlete’s responsibility to raise a community’s children. Parents must teach their children to distinguish right from wrong. Furthermore, an NBA power forward’s job is to perform in the paint, not educate local youths or volunteer on all his off-days. Though athletes can significantly improve a community by organizing charity events and spearheading positive local causes, it is ultimately an athlete’s personal decision whether he or she embraces community activism.

The general public often forgets this crucial fact because fans and media are so quickly lost amidst the fortune and fame of professional sports. It is nonetheless important to bear in mind that these gifted men and women are still individual citizens. They (usually) pay their taxes just like the rest of us, which entitles them to choose their own path and spend their money as they see fit. It is therefore naïve and idealistic to assume all player contracts are social contracts, as well. As long as an athlete fulfills his or her league and/or team’s community service requirements and obeys the law, the public cannot condemn an athlete for not exerting extra humanitarian effort.

By extension of Chuck’s logic, it becomes the public’s duty to highly scrutinize those professional athletes who have publicly sought and accepted roles as mentors within our community. We should commend athletes who uphold their public promises and remain consistent by criticizing those who fail to meet the lofty, well-publicized expectations they set for themselves. The integrity of our city hinges upon our collective ability to wade through celebrity rhetoric, discerning right from wrong, the genuine from the fraudulent, and the faces we can trust from those that will only let us down.

Furthermore, human experience demonstrates that few things are more frustrating and potentially harmful than teachers who neglect to practice what they preach.

JR just realized that 3 times 10 equals 30. Congrats, JR! Now you can quantify the number of days you have to spend in jail. If you didn't have such a great attorney, you would have been sentenced to 3 times as many days. Solve that equation and get back to me.

Brandon Marshall and JR Smith are like family members who you secretly dislike, but you are obligated to treat with civility. The NFL and NBA League Offices are your grandparents, and the Broncos and Nuggets’ management are only your mother and father. As long as your grandparents keep a relative in the family, no one else can kick him or her out. You do not have to love these players or respect their personal choices, but you might as well try and make the best of their performances in Denver.

That said, feel free to say whatever you like when your bothersome “relatives” are not around…or when you are not watching the game of the week.

The citizens of Denver are entitled to hold the city’s professional athletes to a certain standard of decency. A season ticket holder obviously reserves the right to complain about any member of the organization he or she has invested his or her money in; this goes for rude ushers and subpar chefs, as well as criminal shooting guards and abusive wideouts. However, Colorado’s non-season ticket holders and non-sports fans also deserve to be heard.

The citizens of Adams, Arapahoe, Boulder, Denver, Douglas, and Jefferson County have paid $11.45 annually since 1991 to subsidize the construction of Coors Field; this tax expires in 2011 or when the stadium is paid off. The city of Denver gave the Broncos a $15 million stadium site for $1, and we tax ourselves a penny on every $10 spent in metro-Denver to pay for the field Brandon Marshall makes his money on. Pat Bowlen and Co. only paid for 25% of the new $400 million Mile High Stadium, while taxpayers agreed to contribute over $250 million to the project.*

Also, do you recall what happened to the sale of the Avalanche and Nuggets during the months before the Pepsi Center opened in 1999? Mayor Wellington Webb successfully blocked Donald Sturm’s purchase of the Avalanche, Nuggets, and Pepsi Center. Sturm refused to include a clause in the sale that prohibited moving the Avalanche and Nuggets out of Denver for the next twenty-five years. Webb argued that the city of Denver  had every right to be weary of selling these franchises to Sturm, considering the millions of dollars taxpayers had contributed to the teams in tax breaks, infrastructure costs, and other subsidies. Of Mayor Webb’s actions, author Dennis R. Judd wrote, “The city’s ability to veto the Sturm deal gave it leverage over future sales; it also indicates that other cities can establish conditions on selling publicly subsidized facilities that can enhance their odds of gaining a return on these investments.”

Look, it's Denver attorney Harvey Steinberg! Oh my bad, that's just Michael Clayton. I get them confused because they both make a living performing miracles for less than admirable people.

The Broncos, Nuggets, Avalanche, and Rockies are privately owned, but they are still public entities. The jerseys our city’s pros don represent more than the organizations they play for. Those logos are funded by your tax dollars, giving you the right to critique each and every player in Denver.

All that I ask is that we criticize carefully. Consider all of the facts and occasionally put yourself in an athlete or owner’s shoes when forming your own opinions. The Broncos should not trade Brandon Marshall because the NFL League Office has not significantly punished him. He has a discouraging off-field track record, but the Broncos still need to satisfy their fan base by winning games and making the playoffs. Furthermore, the Denver media can limit Marshall’s celebrity by refusing to publish stories about his personality. In the mean time, the public can do and say whatever it wishes.

Just do yourself a favor and heed your mother’s advice: think before you speak.

Here's the real Harvey Steinberg exitting a Denver courtroom with "fan favorite" Todd Sauerbrun. Such a gentleman, emphasis on the "gentle." Just ask the cab driver Todd assaulted.

* Figures taken from Dennis R. Rudd’s 2003 book The Infrastructure of Play: Building the Tourist City

Videos:

Watch Brandon Marshall defend himself

Watch an interview with Marshall’s ex-girlfriend

Look at Yao's face. He is extremely frustrated. This is exactly why the Nuggets need Marc Gasol.

As I mentioned in my mailbag a couple days ago (even before the Afflalo trade), the Nuggets should seriously consider making a run at Marc Gasol. The trade the Nuggets completed yesterday puts the team in an excellent position to land the 7’1” Baby Gasol. This would in turn put the Nuggets in an excellent position to contend for an NBA title.

The Nuggets clearly need another offensively capable big man to complement Martin and Birdman’s defensive abilities, as well as take some of the heat off of Nene in the offensive paint. Marc Gasol is perfectly suited to fulfill this role. He is long, strong, and down to get the friction on (thanks, Sir Mix a Lot) in the low post. He has good strength at 265 pounds, makes powerful moves underneath the basket, is effective at drawing contact from defenders en route to the rim, and is a willing passer who looks to kick the ball out to an open teammate before taking his own shot from down low. He also possesses a nice right-handed hook shot.

Acquiring the Spaniard would finally give the Nuggets the size to push around the Lakers, Spurs, Cavs, Celtics, and Magic. Adding Gasol would also make the Nuggets a much more versatile and less predictable team. Karl could start Gasol, shift Nene over to power forward, and bring Martin off the bench against a big team like the Lakers. Against smaller, quicker teams, such as the Spurs, Gasol come off the bench to spell Martin when the team needed height and/or an offensive boost in the post.

The 24-year-old has plenty of room to grow, and he’ll undoubtedly improve once Steve Hess gets him in the gym. Seriously, think about how much Hess helped Nene’s game. Gasol would be an absolute beast at a leaner, stronger 265 pounds.

Let’s take a quick look at some numbers. In fact, who better to compare Marc Gasol to than his big bro, perennial all-star Pau Gasol…

Per 40 minutes, Pau averaged 19.1 points 9.7 total rebounds and 3.1 offensive rebounds, 2.3 blocks, .5 steals, and 2.9 assists during his rookie NBA season. Last year was Marc’s first season in the NBA and he put up some pretty solid numbers himself. Marc’s per 40-minute stat line reads as follows: 15.5 points, 9.6 total rebounds and 3.3 offensive rebounds, 1.4 blocks, 1.04 steals, and 2.2 assists. Though Pau scored a few more points, Marc still held his own. One must keep in mind that Marc was the Grizzlies third scoring option last year behind OJ Mayo and Rudy Gay. Even LeBron’s numbers would dip if he played in a starting-five that included Mayo and Gay. Also, remember that Pau was the go-to-guy during his first year in Memphis. Every play ran through him. Therefore, Marc did a pretty solid job by managing 11.7 points 7.4 rebounds 1.1 blocks in 30 minutes per game last season. Those numbers are exactly what the Nuggets would need out of him. Furthermore, his defense would improve while playing for a better team and coach in Denver.

It is honestly a godsend that Gasol plays for the Memphis Grizzlies. Memphis GM Chris Wallace literally gives away Gasols to other Western Conference teams. Furthermore, Gasol became expendable last month when the Grizzlies drafted 7’3” C Hasheem Thabeet, and followed this selection by trading SF/SG Quentin Richardson to the Clippers for PF Zach Randolph. These subsequent moves leave Memphis with a crowded big man rotation. The franchise wants to develop Thabeet by keeping him on the court, Z-Bo is known to erupt if he does not receive ample playing time, and the team drafted 21-year-old PF Darrell Arthur last year. Arthur, the gifted former Jayhawk, played effectively in 19 minutes per game last season, and the team does not wish to suppress his development by slashing his minutes this year. Not to mention Memphis still has 7’2” Iranian center Hamed Haddadi on the roster.

Chris Wallace explaining why he enjoys giving away Gasols. I think he is saying that the southern franchise finds the Gasols' facial hair unbecoming and their Euro attitudes too liberal and non-rigid. Whatever, Chris. Just give us Marc.

The Grizzlies’ offseason decisions also leave them devoid of smaller frontcourt reserves, shooting guards, and players in general. There are only eight players currently on the team’s roster (nine if you count Hakim Warrick, who will likely return at the QE). This is where the Nuggets come in. The Nuggets could re-sign Kleiza to the QE and then promptly trade him, Steven Hunter’s expiring contract, and Sonny Weems in exchange for Gasol. Both teams win in this trade.

Kleiza offers the Grizzlies instant offense from the bench, and is an upgrade over GF Marko Jaric. He is a better athlete than Jaric and more versatile because at 6’8” Kleiza can play 2-4. He is also a valuable (and cheap!) insurance policy behind OJ Mayo and Rudy Gay, which the team needs now that Quentin Richardson is off to LA. The Grizzlies also receive an attractive $3.7 million expiring contract; the franchise can also increase its cap flexibility for the summer of 2010 should the front office choose to let Kleiza walk at the end of next season. Sonny Weems is a D-League star, who would likely blossom while playing significant minutes in Memphis since they lack shooting guards. This trade therefore gives Memphis much needed bench scoring, lands young talent at the right positions, and frees up at least $3.7 million in cap room next summer. Heck, throw in a 2011 1st round draft pick and if necessary a 2nd rounder to ensure Chris Wallace jumps at the deal. Landing Gasol at $3.3 million is far too rewarding a possibility to pass up.

Plus, it would be ideal to acquire Gasol at this stage of his career. His contract, like Martin’s, expires after the 2011 season. The Nuggets should add Gasol now so that he develops solid chemistry with Carmelo, JR, and Nene in hopes of keeping this nucleus together long-term with the cap space the Nuggets will have once the Great Martin Contract ends.

I’m going crazy here. The Nuggets and Grizzlies are two teams that need to make deals, each team possesses the necessary pieces, and Chris Wallace is involved. If anyone besides Mitch Kupchak can convince Wallace to give him Marc Gasol, it has to be NBA Executive of the Year Mark Warkentein.

Pau to Marc: You wanna come way out west wit me, right baby bro?!

This potential trade leaves the Nuggets with 11 players on the roster (I’ve included Birdman and Lawson). The Nuggets could follow up this trade by using the remainder of the MLE and/or minimum contract offers to fill their 4 remaining roster spots. The Nuggets still need a third point guard, and they should re-sign Anthony Carter to the minimum to fill this role. He knows the offense, is a good character guy, and Karl likes him. The Nuggets should then consider signing SF Matt Barnes. Barnes solidifies the Nuggets’ defense and 3-point shooting, and his presence could prove to be invaluable if Balkman and Afflalo are not ready to log playoff minutes; he would still end up costing at least $1.2 million less than Kleiza. The Nuggets could also offer this money to PF Tim Thomas, who was bought out by the Chicago Bulls earlier today. I discussed the merits of acquiring Thomas in my July 2nd column.

It is also true that the Nuggets possess some talent on their summer league team. The Nuggets therefore might consider signing a couple of these players to fill out the roster. Kareem Rush’s 3-point shooting and 6’6” body would be a nice addition, and Coby Karl is a smart player.

This deal makes far too much sense for it not to go down. As a fan, I cannot think of any offseason move that would excite me more than pairing Nene with a young 7-foot beast like Marc Gasol. Plus, the move helps Kroenke’s balance sheet because adding Gasol would increase the Nuggets’ international marketability. Come on, E. Stanley. He isn’t even that expensive. You can bank on Marc Gasol. Do it for the fans, por favor?

Food for thought:

Is anyone else tired of JR Smith? I know I am getting there. The Nuggets should consider trading JR Smith if he is what it takes to land Marc Gasol. JR is a brilliant (and lucky) shooter. And yes, his explosive offense did single-handedly win the Nuggets a few games last season. However, let’s not forget that JR is currently sitting in a jail cell because he ran a traffic light and killed his best friend. JR claims he has grown up, but I don’t buy it. He appeared on a live internet feed during an early morning traffic stop in New Jersey three weeks ago. Smith and Eddie Curry, an NBA prima donna who needs to get his life together and lose enough weight to run up and down the court, were passengers in the car that had been pulled over. The NBA players joked that they would give $1,000 to the first person in the SUV to run out of the stopped vehicle and tap the hood of the police cruiser. Way to go, Young Rich. Ask yourself, “Are these the actions of a true champion?” I think not. JR is currently too foolish and immature to play on a team destined to win an NBA title. I just do not see a team that he is a part of winning a ring. But the Grizzlies will not compete for a ring anytime soon and JR’s wild game would certainly sell some tickets in Memphis. The Nuggets might actually grow more disciplined, hungry, and competitive if they picked up Matt Barnes and dumped JR to land Gasol. Just something to consider…

Smith and his defense attorneys. Shouldn't he be in the gym? The face of an NBA champion? I think not.